Eh, so I feel like talking about music today. I don’t know where I’m going with it.

I think my teacher would like me to take all the exams and teach music. I think my mother wants me to make a living out of music, however that may happen, whether that means teaching, recording, or what.

All I like is to play it, perform it, record it (if the cable is working, which most times it’s not). I like to make movies with music behind them. I don’t look forward to the idea of taking a practical exam. I like the theory ones.

The songs I have to learn, I don’t like. It’s all that ‘modern’ stuff with the chording in the left hand and melody in the right. I like to play with both hands, and mostly compose, not play other people’s music. I’m not forgetting anything I’ve learnt (in fact, I’m learning more through Google Ha ha!). Am I just being selfish though? To feel like quitting?

I have a great teacher, people who want what’s best for me. That does however imply that I do not want what’s best for me, or do not know what’s best for me, and I don’t like that thought either. Is it true?

Okay, so I’m just rambling on about it now. This is just what’s going through my head as I stare at the keyboards in front of me, not turning them on, not wanting to practise. Wanting to leave town, within the week, to escape everything. *sigh*

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4 Responses to Music

  1. wlouison says:

    How coincidental, as I am talking about music today on my blog, too. Great minds think alike, I guess. I totally get what you mean, too. I play piano, also, and I don’t like having anyone tell me what to play. I tried lessons years ago, when I was in Grade 2, but I wanted to play music I liked, so I quit lessons and taught myself. My dad was classically trained on piano for his entire childhood and adolescence, so he was able to help out if I needed it, but I liked it much better because I got to play what I wanted to, without having to worry about being told what to play. I was turned off from playing when I had to play something I didn’t like. I still have no intention of doing any music festivals or pursuing it as a career, I play simply for pleasure. For that reason, learning all the theory, technicalities and whatever else was not as important to me. I can read sheet music and know all the ‘piano terms’. I can use the pedal and play with both hands. Everything else is my own choice, and I’m still enjoying playing piano some 12 or more years after I dropped out of lessons. But that’s me! haha You may be benefited for playing this music – the teacher obviously chose it for a reason – but life’s too short to not do what you want to do. No one can tell you if you’re being selfish or a quitter. In fact, in a case like this, there is no such thing as quitting. You’re not going to stop playing piano if you don’t play these songs from your teacher, but you might end up enjoying them, too. No one can know the real answer but yourself. Good luck! πŸ™‚

  2. Tarina says:

    That’s awesome you taught yourself. That’s always a possibility; I have enough interest in music to look things up for myself now, whereas I didn’t before (when I stopped lessons age 9 or so, I forgot most everything I learned, and had to learn again later. Forgetting probably had to do with the fact I didn’t have a keyboard to play on in three years haha). I actually rather enjoy the theory side of it, I like written test and memorisation. The practical side of it is mostly just creating sounds, just right, making something unique and beautiful. The ‘practical’ theory doesn’t appeal to me, even just playing scales. It has to be songs. I’m starting on grade six now, and they seem to want me to finish this year and take the teachers exams at the end of the year… and I don’t know if that’s what I want to do? There’s so many options! I know teaching could earn me a living but I don’t think it would feel creative enough for me, I don’t know…

    I must say I am interested in performing and using music to make a living, but only if I can get joy out of it doing so. That goes for anything I guess. Money is not a motivation to be creative. It’s more of a blocker. Money’s something I want, need, but at the same time despise it, hate to need it.

    I’m getting off-track…

    Um. So yeah. Perhaps I could just push through all the horrible songs and do everything ‘right’ for just this last year and have it all over and done with. Then I’d be ‘qualified’, possibly have more opportunities in the world, which would be useful when I leave home. I just don’t know.

    Thanks so much for the comment. πŸ™‚

  3. diannegray says:

    I’m not musical in the least – but I absolutely love listening to it! πŸ˜‰

    • Tarina says:

      Haha I love it too! I like listening all the time… have to be careful on Grooveshark though, I think it was mostly my fault I blew our allotted broadband last month… *guilty look* πŸ˜€

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