Do you ever feel all alone
Though in the very midst of humanity?
Is the road so heavy and long
That it stretches forever in your mind
But leaves no mark upon your life
Only a brief dark smudge of orange
A smattering of sunshine and darkness
Thoughts and dreams trapped within the memory?
Do you ever feel your memories slipping
Away so fast, like water to the ocean?
Is the only thing that keeps you whole
The words upon the type-written page
Fitting pieces of life together
Saving them where the mind forgets
The pixel words bringing back the sights and tastes and sounds
You heard at that very time?
Do you ever see a picture
Of smiling happy children, and feel sad?
Does it feel like years of life are speeding up
Flicking through like pages of a book
Reading faster than you know
Faster than you ever could before
Speed that rushes you along
Quicker than you want to go?
Do you ever feel
That life’s a confusing mystery?
Or rather, it’s yourself that makes
Everything not make sense
Like maybe you’re the element in space
That sets in place the chaos all around you
Until you’re left, stranded, blamed, guilty, sad
And all alone?
Do you ever look into a mirror
And marvel that that’s really you?
That life has come to be this long
And yet only now
Your feelings are as deep, as fragmented, as confusing
As the many faces that reflect each other
On and on, way through the glass
Like many different selves?
Do you ever wonder if it’s normal
To wonder if it’s normal to wonder if you’re normal?
Do you ever wonder if puzzles such as these
Have ever made a mind implode?
For now I’ll savour all these words
And rescue them from time and space
And memory that overwrites them all too soon
Sketching, painting, throwing away, all in search of a perfect self portrait